The Bully Actor/Victim Responder Spiral
The Spiral indicates the cycle that is built when bullying actions are not addressed in a straight forward manner. This common cycle is seen in home, workplace and schools. One person is approached by another person. If one person has learned to control by power, the grooming pattern includes testing; How will this person react to me? The teasing, threats and/or harmful actions continue and accelerate as long as the situation is not addressed and the victim responses are continuing. Bystanders play an important role in determining if the situation will continue to escalate or will be derailed. The players are likely to be characterized as a bully and a victim, both by themselves and others. The person using victim responses comes to see themselves as helpless. The person using bully actions learns that power works to get your own way. The victim may, at some point, lash out with a bully action and may then be characterized as a bully instead of a victim. Severe bully actions and victim responses may cause the destruction of one or both of the parties.
Excerpted from No Such Thing as a Bully by Kelly Karius and Ron Graham